I never felt as safe as I did when I was beside you.  There were nights lying together when our bodies were twisted uncomfortably so that we could be just a little bit closer to each other, and there were nights where we got as far apart as the single would allow.  Either way was still good, because in the early hours of the morning, one of us would always creep over to the other's side and nestle our way into the other one's proximity.  

You were so warm that you positively radiated.  A person like you would be good to have around in the dead of winter, this I know.  The only problem is that maybe you're too warm.  Those nights when we slept pressed together, I remember waking up sweaty.  I'd sit up and move a bit to cool off, and it would always wake you.  I remember how you'd always complain about me being sweaty, as if I were totally responsible for the phenomenon.  

I guess what I'm getting at, as if the metaphor isn't abundantly clear, is that it seems we were simply too close to each other.  I didn't leave you out of spite, or resentment, or anger.  And yeah, I still think of you all the time.  Sometimes when you stop in to visit, I have trouble breathing.  It always brings a smile to my face when you come through the door, but at the same time my lungs feel like the insides have been scraped out by a dull tool.  They feel thin, and the longer I see you, the harder it becomes for me to breathe.  I guess it's my fault, though.  I really don't mind, when it comes down to it.  I guess it's something like moving to the mountains after living at sea level your entire life.  You can still take just as large of breaths, but there's just not as much air as there used to be.  

And I know this sounds awful, but it doesn't mean that I don't want to see you.  I just want you to know why I seem the way I do, why I have problems speaking, and why I can't meet your eyes without losing my composure.  

I don't think there's a good word for drowning in an airless environment, but that's all I can really compare this to-- this feeling I get when I'm around you now.  I love you, and sometimes it's so tempting to give up and drown in it.  Just like you, I'm surviving.